I know that this may come to you as a shock, but I'm sure you will understand where I'm coming from, and that we will both benefit from it.
As you know that our friendship has been a loyal one, and dates back a number of years. I have appreciated you as a friend, and we have spent much time in debate and laughter. However, as you know, we sometimes got up to some bad stuff too ....
I understand that we were both equally to blame, and I don't blame you more than I blame myself for the things we have done.
I'm sure that with the passing of time, not only I, but you too, have had some inner feeling that this is not what we want to be doing, nor does it reflect the true Torah values we both adhere to.
I have discussed with a Rov of mine - obviously without mentioning your name - what I can do, since I really want to stop these seriously negative behaviours. My Rov gave me a lot of chizuk and applauded me for my courage to come forward and discuss what was on my mind. He told me that unfortunately we are not the only ones misbehaving like this, and those who want to let go and move on in life can do so, and see much syata dishmaya on the way.
He explained to me how these avairos can have a great effect on the level of syata dishmaya we can merit, and stopping them, can bring much brocho.
The gates of Teshuvah are always open and no matter how low one has stooped, Hashem is there with us waiting for us to return to the right way. [It is only because Hashem is with us even when we are low that we suddenly get a heavenly inspiration to lift ourselves out. If Hashem had left us, we would never feel this].
I have been advised that we should mutually agree to temporarily discontinue our relationship entirely. I will miss you very much, but in my heart I know that it is what is best for both of us. I think we both have what to gain from this.
I hold you in much respect and esteem and therefore allow myself to expose my vulnerability at this point with the knowledge that you will understand me and respect my stand on this.
I would like to use this opportunity to beg you to forgive me for my part in this, and I am sincerely mochel you. I beg you to give me the chance to make a new start and disconnect from all my associations with our negative past, by accepting my request, and making it easier for me too.
I have no intention of telling anyone about this, and trust that you will feel the same. Let us give each other the opportunity of forgive [ourselves] and forget, and turn over a new leaf.
I am sure that we will yet meet in the years to come and both of us will be living Torah-dik lives, and be building kosher homes al taharas hakodesh.
For now, I wish you only much further success in whatever you do, and thank you in advance for understanding me and making this easier for me.